Jake W Hayes

It is an interesting observation that that there are people in the world who we do not like, yet we are surprised and offended to find out there are people in this world who do not like us.  My five year old twin daughters just finished up their year in 4K.  Other than Sunday school at church it is there first time they have had regular interaction with a large group of children their own age.  It has been an interesting learning experience for the whole family.  As twins, they have some built-in social skills and have always made friend rather easily.  However, before going to school they never had anyone say “You are/aren’t my friend”.  It has created an interesting dynamic.  They were understandably crushed the first time someone told them “You are not my friend”, and it was a hard story to listen to as a parent. They made it their quest to make that child “their friend”.  This quest has come at a cost, both in giving up turns on the playground swings and on five year old emotions.  We have struggled, as parents, over the last month as we try to instill in them the true meaning of friendship. 

To us as adults, we see this as a normal part of growing up.  We all have gone through the same experience of learning what true friendship is.  Most of us have only a few true close friends and many acquaintances.  This is the normal, healthy way that social relationships work… at least until you start your own business.  We invest our time, money, and dreams into your new business.  We work so hard and are so excited about our new product.  And somehow, we all return to K4.  We get off the school bus with almost no concept of what friends, (or more specifically customers) really are.  We expect everyone to embrace us with open arms.  We are surprised and offended to find out that there are people who do not want our product.  Even worse we find out there are people who prefer our competitors products over our own.  We make it our quest to convince make them our customers.  This quest too comes at a cost. 

It is a valid marketing tactic to offer potential customers discounts.  It is necessary at times to reduce a quote to capture a high potential customer.  But too often we spend time and money trying to hook a potential customer that we just want to be our “friend”.  We spend money and more importantly time trying to wine and dine potential contacts who are not potential customers.  We adopt high pressure selling techniques that never accept no for an answer.  We think that we are being persistent, but from the other side of the table it comes across as desperate, naive, and even annoying.  We take every no too personally.  It wears on our own confidence and adds stress to the business.

I often ask new business owners who their ideal customer is.  Too many times I hear the response “everybody”.  They haven’t taken the time or disciplined themselves to seriously consider who is a high value customer and what is the customers true potential value.  I am not saying that we should have a users mentality or only consider what is in it for us, but it is an important piece of the equation that new business owners rarely consider.  You will have customers who you will regret working with.  It has been my observation that most of these troublesome customers are ones that we have tried too hard to get and we have been too proud not to get.

As you move forward building a successful business, count the cost of each potential customer.  Don’t take it personally if some just don’t want to buy from you.  Remember there are great products being sold by great people who you did not buy from either.  Add a comment about the last product you did not buy and why.  We could all learn from ourselves what it is like to be a customer again.